He or she has obligation and guilt issues, right, it's a pretty short word to utter forth, one syllable, no grey area, no head scratching for the recipient. Yeah, it's that simple for us with the ability to say the word and stand firm with a simple NO. But for some it's easier to please others than it is to please ourselves.
For those of you with the 'disease to please' there are a few strategies and tactics that you can store in your arsenal so you're at the ready with your well rehearsed and thought out nos. You know they say that practice makes perfect but if you need a 'No Coach' hit us up, we're here to help, might even grace you with ability to say Hell Nah at some point.
- Say No for the Sake of Your Wallet - No brainer right, so you'd think. I've witnessed a person overextend themselves to not 'disappoint' the asker. C'MON people! Simply say... I can't, I told myself I wouldn't or it's not in the budget right now. If they launch the counter attack and say I'll foot the bill stand firm and say, it's really not something I'm interested enough in to want to have to or feel obligated to pay you back. Eventually they'll pick up on the fact that you've taken the word doormat off your forehead.
- Say No for the Sake of Your Sanity - Ok, a friend asked me on several occasions to go on vacay with her and the family and my response has always been if the kids stay home I'll go. Sure enough when the kids stayed home I went and had a great time. Don't sacrifice your sanity to do anything for anyone else. I hate to be in chaotic situations that weren't of my own creating like a vacation with you and the kids - just say no your sanity depends on it!
- Say No for the Sake of Your Time - Let's say you're offered a promotion, even though it would offer you more much needed money, you're thinking of how much extra time it would take away from your family and other more interesting endeavors. There's no one that won't understand your need to spend extra time with the family. Most importantly don't let guilt creep in. Second dilemma, you get a party invite Again, you just aren't feelin it this year, what you do is say something along the lines of I've really had a great time at your other parties but I just can't make it this year, that week I'm swamped. Just Say No, who want's to be at a party that they don't want to go to after all?
- Say No for the Sake of Your Own Needs - Say someone is pitching a deal or grand opportunity that is of absolutely no interest to you. The ballsy thing to do is say I'm sorry that is of absolutely no interest to me and move on with life but if you're reading this post you probably aren't 'ballsy' so the simplest retort might be 'This doesn't meet my needs right now but I'll be sure to keep you in mind'. That helps the person know it's not necessarily them, but what they're offering and that you'll keep them in mind shows your openness for stuff in the future.
- Say No for the Sake of Your Friendship - The good ole I'd Love to do this, but... response is a gentle way of saying no, it's kind of a soft no, the but may be a prior commitment, different need or a plethora of possible excuses.